Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Why do people reject the usage of the Cursor IDE?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I am 11 years old and I think I am going through puberty. Why do my nipples hurt when I touch them? Is it normal?

I actually pay taxes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

‘Cheers’ star George Wendt’s cause of death confirmed - New York Daily News

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t cotton to rapists

How did you become popular in school?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

How come Jesus died on Friday and rose on Sunday? That's not 3 days and three nights.

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Mega-Tsunamis That Shook the World for 9 Days Revealed in New Satellite Images - Gizmodo

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I can count

California schools are very liberal. Do you think California schools are teaching students to hate Republican views (views on: God, guns, prayer, secure borders, etc.)?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

New Ubisoft Game Shutting Down Permanently in 48 Hours - ComicBook.com

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Kevin Durant Reportedly Would've Put Knicks on Top Landing Spots If NY Pursued Trade - Bleacher Report

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I told my 13-year-old daughter that she should never start a fight, but has my permission to end it. She got suspended for ending a fight that some other girl picked with her by hitting her then retreating. How do I handle the school’s response?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Undercover cops in New York are riding the subways with iPods on to entice robbery. Is that a form of entrapment? If not, why not?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

What the ‘Revenge Tax’ Is in the Tax Bill—and How It Could Pummel the Dollar - Barron's

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t buy bullshit

Scientists learn how mosquitoes outsmart and evade human defenses - Earth.com

I can read

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I see through liars

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: